You thought this was gonna be another post about nails, huh? 😉
So Valentines Day is approaching…again.
I love to love! This is one of my favorite holidays. However, I’m well aware that this day means absolutely zero to a LOT of people. It’s just another day. So since almost everything is marketed towards couples this time of year, I wanted to extend some helpful advice to any eyes that are single and potentially looking for a worthy significant other, maybe even on a long-term basis. Call me the love doctor! 😏
I consider one of my talents to be reading people. Please don’t confuse this with being judgmental 😂. I feed off of the vibes and body language of people and I’m especially good at it via text. Trust me, I can help you read between the lines. I’m going to help those that might be trapped in the weird online dating zone. You know, the one where you start talking to someone that seems alright, it ends up being short-lived, and then you have to start allllll over. If you decide to trust this confident stranger, read my 10 tips.
- If you’re messaging someone first, refrain from saying “I’d like to get to know you”. This is already implied because if you wouldn’t like to get to know them, why would you message them? I know some people wanna take love and finding a soulmate seriously, but you don’t have to be so formal, you’re not messaging your employer!
- “Nice to meet you, my name is _____”. This used to be something I found a touch annoying to see when I briefly tried online dating. You sent a message. You have NOT met. Also, we know what your name is because it’s right there. On the screen. Next to your picture.
- Try AS HARD AS YOU CAN to avoid saying, “so tell me about yourself”. It’s lazy. You’re not interviewing this person and you shouldn’t feel like you’re being interviewed. If you’re interested, ask them an easy, open-ended question. Inversely, if they can’t think of anything to ask you, a complete stranger, it doesn’t sound like they’re making an effort to get to know you.
- Not today, Social Media Satan. 99.9% of the time, if someone that you have barely started talking to wants your snapchat, Instagram, Kik (I don’t even know what that is but all the creepy people online always seemed to mention it), or WhatsApp, THEY JUST WANT TO SEND YOU PHOTOS (and I mean naughty ones) and obviously they would like to receive photos as well. Which isn’t bad. But they aren’t looking for a romantic, committed relationship. Which also isn’t bad. Unless that’s just the thing you’re looking for. If that’s the case, don’t respond to any further messages. Clearly you don’t have the same goal in mind. At the very least, they just want proof that they aren’t being cat-fished. After a mutual interest has been established after talking for a while, maybe then Social Media accounts can be introduced, but it shouldn’t be your main medium of communicating.
- The no hang-out rules. First off, if you’re the type that might seem a little “old-fashioned” by wanting to go on real dates after talking for a while, these rules are HUGE. First rule, if you’re asked, “wanna hangout” when you JUST started talking, automatic no. This world is a scary place and anyone that asks you to when you hardly know them either lives under a rock and doesn’t hear about the crazy stuff happening in the world today or they simply don’t care and want you to risk your life for them anyway. It’s not safe. Second rule, I made it a personal rule to not “hangout” with any guy I was interested in at all. If your goal is a real relationship, not casual “hanging”, then wait for the person that wants to go on a real date! Side note: Netflix and chill is NOT a date. Meeting anyone at their house to just “hang” is also not a date. If you’ve been talking a while and would like to meet in person, making plans in advance is safer, easier, and it helps you know if this person you might want to start seeing is capable of considering other people and being mature.
- Steer clear of the “wyd-er”. So maybe this person is super cute. They appear to be the height that you prefer, be interested in all the stuff you like, but you just can’t get a conversation going because all they do is ask you “wyd” instead of asking you anything about who you are or what you like as a person. If you don’t know, “wyd” is just short for “what are you doing?”. I hate to say it but you’re most likely not compatible. Keep swiping! Or clicking, or whatever.
- If you’re not interested in just “hooking up”, don’t agree to seeing anyone past like…8pm. Unless they genuinely have plans that hinder them from seeing you any earlier and they want to go to a well-lit place with plenty of other bystanders, just don’t. Don’t put yourself in an awkward position to where you might end up doing something you don’t want to.
- Trust your gut about people. Trust your intuition. Sometimes you get bad feelings about people you’re talking to. Like maybe they’re fake or not being honest about their profile. Maybe you know you have nothing in common but they’re attractive. Just…be cautious and don’t date because you’re lonely. Even if it sucks now, wait for the person that is a really good match for you. If you don’t, you’ll be back at square one eventually.
- Avoid being clingy. Even if you are staring at the screen waiting for a response, don’t respond immediately every single time! They’re gonna think you have no independent life of your own outside looking for someone to be with. Also, you’re a prize and you’re a catch! Someone would be BLESSED to be with you. With that being said, if they don’t respond to your messages, don’t keep contacting them. They saw your messages. They didn’t respond. They lose out. Don’t make yourself look desperate because you’re not. You’re fine without someone!
- Also, don’t forget to have fun! Dating can be fun and getting to know people. Maybe you don’t find the “one” right away but you might make some friends and learn more about the person that you want to find. Valentines Day is not really an important day at all. It can be fun and you don’t have to be in a relationship to celebrate it. However, if you’re still dreading it, just hang on until the 15th. Everything will normalize again after that.
What are your Valentines Day plans? What are online dating tips that you would add?